Thinking Out Loud

Monday, September 19, 2005

Sept. 13, 2004 -- Sept. 19, 2005

Okay, so I think the time has come to put this puppy down. I need to put this simple blog out of it's misery. It's been dying a slow death for a while now and I think it's best to just off it once and for all. Those few of you who drop by occasionally have undoubtedly noticed that the content has been somewhat blah lately.

Part of it has been that I've been neglecting it, but a bigger part of it is that I feel as though I can't express myself as I had set out to do. I have tons of post ideas, but I find myself practicing self-cencorship and I hate it. I feel as though, If I can't be honest when posting then why bother? It has gotten to the point where I go to create a new post with all these ideas on my mind, but then I stop because I can't say this or I can't say that...and finally, ah fuck it! Another post not created.

That's not to say that I'm giving up on blogging all together, oh no. Simply, that I'm killing this one and starting all over again. I think this blog represents a chapter in my life that is over and over for good. I need a fresh start. One in which I can feel like I can be honest not only with myself, but with you folks as well. So, if you were a regular reader and would like to really get to know me then shoot me an email and I'll share my new home's url once it's up and running. For the time being I have lots of old shit you all can check out, especially shit that I wrote toward the beginning of the start of this blog, just 'cause I had shit to say and for the most part it was me. Aight, take it easy...peace out ya'll.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

it came and went, and nobody noticed...

not even myself. Had only blogger abandoned all subtlety as in this cartoon.

Anywho Happy Bloggerversary to me!!! I guess Tuesday was the day, hell I didn't even notice till I realized tomorrow is Mexican Independance day. Viva Mexico!!!

I've made it to one full year, but just barely. I guess I need to spruce this joint up a bit. Maybe that'll get me back in the swing of things. I have tons of shit to write about, it's not that I'm a boring person. It's just a matter of getting into the right frame of mind and it'll all pour out.

So here's to my one year and looking forward to a better one.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

it's over already....?

Damn it! There's no way it was a three-day weekend. It just seemed hella shorter than my regular weekends. Fuck it all to hell!


Left work about an hour early. It was extremely slow, I had caught up, and I have a few hours of comp time just sitting there, so i decided to start my weekend a bit early. Not that I had any major plans for the weekend, but I just didn't want to be at work. Later that evening I had dinner with a friend and then caught a movie, Saving Face. Pretty good movie. That was pretty much it for Friday night.


I got a late start, ran some errands and then just vegged on the couch for most of the day as I did laundry. See, I can multi-task. Sometime in the afternoon I fell asleep, for a long time. I woke up about 7pm and realized I was supposed to have been a friend's sister's wedding, which was still about an hour drive. As I sped to this little shindig I noticed my car was vibrating quite a bit. I almost just drove straight on through to my parents, but decided it would be rude since I had already said I would attend. So I drove out into the boonies where the reception was being held hoping my car didn't break down in the middle of nowhere, 'cause the moon wasn't out and it was pitch dark out. I had an idea that the vibration in my car was due to my tires needing to be balanced, so I thought at least it's not the motor again. I was at the reception for a couple hours before the clean up crew came out in full force. I took that as my sign to get ta' stepping. I still had about a 15 mile country road drive to my parents, in the middle of the night with my car driving really rough. The drive to my parents was certainly worth it, since my mom was preparing some Menudo for Sunday breakfast. Again, my mom's Menudo is the best ever!


After devouring a huge bowl of Menudo for breakfast I set out to a neighboring town to have my car realigned and get the tires balanced. For some reason I thought it was Saturday, which of course it wasn't and all tire/car shops were closed. I took a trip to Kmart to look for a pair of flip-flops since in my haste to leave my place the day before I forgot to bring with me my flip-flops or an extra pair of shoes. Since I went straight to the wedding the night before the only shoes I had with me were a pair of dress shoes, which don't go good with shorts and a t-shirt. I had to jack my dad for a pair of sandals with were about a size too small, but had to hold me over. Being that we're nearing the end of summer I soon came to find that flip-flops have been replaced with slippers and house shoes...everywhere! I couldn't find a fuckin' pair of flip-flops anywhere and I didn't like any of the shoes I saw, so I spent all day Sunday in my dad's little sandals. It didn't matter though since I spent the rest of the day just lounging around at my parents'. We ended up bbq'ing later that afternoon, during which I gashed my head open with a fucking nail head that was protruding from one of the low hanging branches of a tree I nearly walked right into. I didn't duck low enough and the nail head caught me in the crown of my head. I'm bald so the cut and knot are on full display. Luckily it's not too bad, just a little cut really, but now it looks like I cut myself shaving. Oh well.


I returned to that neighboring town to have my car worked on hoping against hope that something would be open, of course there wasn't. I was beginning to feel like I might be stranded there for another day, and I wasn't having that. As I drove around, I called my luva' and contacted a Pep Boys in a town between my parents and my home that was open so I decided I would brave the drive there to get my car worked on. It took about two hours before my car was done, I spent that time walking around a small mall that was across the street from the place. First though, I went to Marshall's and bought myself a pair of shoes to wear, 'cause I was still wearing my dad's sandals...yeah, I know. When I got my car back, they told me that I should replace the two right tires, 'cause they looked like they were seperating (coming apart). I thought, hmm...I'm about 40 miles from home, I'll just drive home and get the tires there. I don't know why I just didn't have them replaced then, I just wanted to get home. Well, 10 miles out along the freeway I realize that the back right tire's thread was coming apart. The tire was still inflated and there was only a small chunk of thread gone, so I decided to drive the rest of the way home at about 55 mph on the freeway. It was a slow leisurely drive, but eventually I got to a tire shop and got them replaced. I ended up getting home five hours after I had set out.

Fuck, I guess it was a bit longer than I had thought. And now of course I'm back at work. Damn it!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

my how things change in the span of a year...

I came to the realization today that in a couple of weeks, September 13th to be exact, it will be a year since I started this little ol' blog. At the time I started it as a means to vent the frustrations I was dealing with and I can say that it helped me cope with what I was dealing with then. I posted recently about friends not understanding this whole blogging deal, but for me it's very obvious. It gave me an outlet to express myself candidly since at the time no one was really reading. Then slowly the regular readers, total strangers, people I had never met or even knew existed and even an old friend began stopping by. Then they would come back and offer advice or just words of encouragement. It helped having people seperated from my situation chime in, cause then I didn't feel prejudged or judged at all. In the span of a year I've made a few blogging buddies that I have enjoyed reading as well as enjoyed having stop by. Now all I gots to do is kick up my writing again. Lately I've been stressed and lagging.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

now that my head's stop spinning...

I would go through a whole recap of my week, but that would be incredibly boring. I'll spare you the details and simply say that it was a fuckin' week from hell! I had braced myself for the onslaught that is the first week of classes, but nothing would've prepared me. All fuckin' week I felt like I was being pulled in a thousand different directions and it drained me completely. Friday was the only day that I left work a little on time, a quarter after five. I think I had two days with an entire lunch break, usually I just grabbed something while I was running around. I made it to the gym just once and trust me I'm feeling it. When I would get home from work, I was just completely drained, no energy for anything. I just wanted to get home and crash out. All week I was completely stressed out, frustrated in every sense (yes, EVERY sense), and the weekend wouldn't arrive fast enough. Yesterday, I just vegged all damned day and it felt fuckin' fantabulous! Today, however I am back at work for a couple hours. Yes, working on Sunday...what a loser! Anyway, thanks to those of you who checked in on me from time to time and took the time to leave a comment even though you were coming back to the same tired post. In case that ever happens again, you can always read my old stuff...riveting stuff, trust me. My writing has somewhat gone down hill as of late. I'll work on that. Anyway, hope you all are enjoying your weekends, tomorrow back to work. Then of'course there is that three day weekend coming up...hell fuckin' yeah!

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