Thinking Out Loud

Sunday, August 14, 2005

hell week

Since I didn't post all week I thought I'd recap a bit...

Monday -

Right from the get go Monday turned out to be a very busy day. My phone must've rang about every 15 minutes all damned day long. Classes will be starting in about a week at the university. Therefore professors are coming back on campus from their summer vacations where apparently they've spent all their time downloading virus' and porn on their computers. By the time I got home I was beat so I took a little nap and ended up going to the gym later that night.

Tuesday -

No difference. More of the same shit. I hate when people think that they are special and should be at the top of your priority list. I support about 120 users, 95 of which are faculty and a few think they should always have priority. I've had to bring a couple of these people down a couple notches already. Calling every 10 minutes to make sure I'm working on their computer issue...fuck that! Wait your turn bitch! Got home hella tired, slept, went to gym.

Wednesday-

Fuck, is it Friday yet?! Work...same shit, getting pulled in different directions...deep breathes and pluggin away. Later that night I watched The Dukes of Hazzard. Mindless fun. I needed that mental check out after the week I was having at work.

Thursday-

Same shit...actually the whole week just blurs together now. I ordered DSL for home. Figured it was time to come up from dial-up. I'm now excitedly awaiting the 18th, my activation date. Later that night I got a call from my mom. Apparently my brother, who's living in Georgia and has recently wound up behind bars again, needs $500 to post bail. He gave my mom this song and dance, which sounds all too fishy to me, but I know it would make her feel better so what the fuck. It's not that I don't want to help out my brother. It's just that I know him, he's a pathological liar and I don't buy his story for a second. But I'm not going to refuse to help out, I'm glad that I'm able to now. I had hoped that he moving away from old crowds would mean him keeping out of trouble, but that hasn't been the case. The fucker is 30 years old now for fuck sake, you'd think he'd get his shit together. NO...instead he calls my folks once a month and it's usually only to aggravate my mother.

So Thursday night I'm talking to my mom about getting the money to him and she starts asking me how I'm doing, if I'm eating right. Suddenly she starts crying and I'm like what the fuck? She tells me that she just feels useless having my brother all the way over in Georgia, and me all the way over here (granted I'm only an hour from home). My mom suffers from depression, she has ever since I could remember. This little incident on the phone has led me to believe that she hasn't been taking her meds and I need to have a little chat with her. For some reason this really got to me. I don't know how many of you have ever known anyone dealing with depression, but there's a sense of helplessness. No matter how hard I try there is nothing I can do to make her feel better. When she has these little episodes it's like we have to walk on egg shells to not upset her and sometimes she takes advantage of that. There are many talks my mother and I haven't had, because of my fear of worsening her situation and I guess in some sense that angers me. Then I feel guilty for being angry at her...it's just that sometimes I wish she was a stronger person mentally, emotionally. Damn I hate being a momma's boy. In any case this conversation with my mom really upset me...afterward I was crying like a little bitch and I never cry. I guess it was a culmination of this and other family drama going on that I have no control over and that I had been trying to keep out of my mind. I guess suddenly I just felt overwhelmed and helpless being away from home. It was just one of those times you know you just need someone to be there for ya. Okay, enough of that I'm getting upset again, but I just had to get that out.

Friday-

Work wasn't too busy as far as getting too many phone calls, so I had the chance to get to a few projects I had put off till I got caught up with all the work requests. I couldn't believe Friday had come so soon, but I was glad it had. I had dinner with a couple friends at some Mexican restaurant I will not be visting any time soon. The service sucked a fat one and the food wasn't all that great. Our server was this very butch woman who at first glance I thought was a man. Were it not for the unsuccessfully concealed breasts I would've thought it was a man. Hell even her voice was very manly...it was odd. Afterward, we hit the theatre and watched Four Brothers. It was pretty good. The characters' interaction was hilarious and there was plenty action throughout.

Well, that was my week in a nut shell. I would elaborate more, but really there isn't much more to it and it's 1:45 am as I'm sitting here typing this. I apologize for those of you who came back here often throughout the week only to find I hadn't posted. I'll try to be better at that.

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